American Events in November: Veterans Day

In the U.S., there are three nationally observed events in November: Election Day, Veterans Day, and Thanksgiving.

Veterans Day used to be called Armistice Day and was originally intended to celebrate the end of World War I. Today it commemorates all men and women who have served in the American armed forces. It is observed on November 11 with parades or special ceremonies. The President usually lays a wreath at the grave of the Unknown Soldier in Arlington National Cemetery that day. Banks are closed for this holiday, but schools and most other businesses remain open.

Last year, in recognition of Veterans Day, we showed an example of a popular military cartoon called Beetle Bailey. It described American culture and listed names of various military ranks.

American Events in November: Election Day

In the U.S., there are three nationally observed events in November: Election Day, Veterans Day, and Thanksgiving.

Election Day is scheduled for the first Tuesday (after the first Monday) of November. This means it can fall anywhere between November 2 and 8. Most interesting for international observers is the Presidential election, which is held every four years. These happen to fall on even-numbered years, with recent elections for President occurring in 2000, 2004, 2008, and 2012. All 435 members of the U.S. House of Representatives stand for election (or re-election) every two years, so they are required to campaign and keep in touch with their home district voters frequently. Every two years, one-third of the 100 members of the U.S. Senate stand for election (or re-election). A Senator’s term of office is six years long, compared to only two for a Representative’s.

photo: library.austintexas.gov

In odd-numbered years, there are seldom national elections, so voters may have only local or statewide ballot issues to decide. These may include funding for local projects, or election of officials who govern local school boards, city councils, or township commissions. A recent statewide ballot proposal asked Michigan voters to regulate wolf hunting. In 2008, a county-wide proposal where I live asked voters to approve sales of alcohol on Sundays (previously banned by the heavily religious population).  Happily, it passed.

Polling places in Michigan are open from 7 AM to 8 PM. Most states across the country have similar voting times, in a range of 12-14 hours. If polls run out of ballots, voters who are waiting in line by the evening cutoff time are allowed to wait until they have cast their votes. Mail-in ballots are available for voters who are unable to travel to the polls (because they are elderly, sick, in jail, or out of town).

The national custom of voting on a Tuesday is drawing increasing criticism. The claim is that it disadvantages working class people who cannot leave their jobs during the day, who have children to pick up from daycare, and who have long commutes to and from work. Critics say it would be fairer to make Election Day a national holiday where no one would have work conflicts on that day. Still others propose making elections 48 hours long and moving them to the weekend to allow maximum voter participation. 

My friend Deb Havens (right), pictured with Michigan Gov. Jennifer Granholm, recently ran for Michigan State Senate.

D.I.Y. Culture: Americans Build Stuff Themselves

Are you handy at building or repairing things?  Some Americans are, and some are not.  However, there is a general feeling among Americans that they can (and should) be able to do basic fixing and building jobs around the home.

My friend Phil

Disclaimer: I am not a fully handy person like my good friend Phil.  I can do painting, rough carpentry, and landscaping.  Phil, on the other hand, knows finish carpentry, does electrical wiring and plumbing, and has many other installation skills.  He also owns tools that I don't even know the names of.

A few summers ago, Phil helped me put new shingles on the roof of our shed.  I mostly watched and assisted, but in the process, I learned some things about shingling.  Now I am more confident about trying it myself in the future.

When my wife and I got a new puppy last year, some of my students were surprised to learn that I built Gladys's kennel myself.  This short slideshow shows the steps necessary to build a dog kennel and is meant to give you a glimpse of American do-it-yourself culture.  Write to let us know if it inspires you to take on a project!

(An earlier blog post on DIY culture can be found here.)

October Cultural Events

There are two U.S. holidays in October: Columbus Day and Hallowe’en. The first is a national holiday on which banks and governmental offices (most notably, post offices) are closed. The latter is observed in personal lives to varying degrees.

Columbus Day This holiday, originally October 12, is now observed on the second Monday of the month. It commemorates the European “discovery” of North America.

Hallowe’en This holiday is celebrated the last day of October by children and adults as well. It includes parties, wearing costumes, and soliciting “treats” from one’s neighbors.

Other activities this month: deer hunting season, pumpkin carving, corn mazes

Quiz on Hallowe’en (answers below)
1. The name Hallowe’en is an abbreviation of All Hallows Evening, which ____.
       a. commemorates the medieval disappearance of King and Queen Hallow from their castle in England.
       b. celebrates a daylong dance festival originating in Hallow, Scotland.
       c. is the day before All Saints Day in the Christian church.
       d. is a translation from the Welsh language, meaning “Greetings to you and your dead           ancestors.”

2. All Saints Day ____.
       a. recognizes all people who have died before us.
       b. is the same as Dia de los Muertes.
       c. comes on November 1.
       d. All of the above

3. Conservative Christians do not celebrate Hallowe’en in the United States because ____.
       a. they are afraid of ghosts, skeletons, and witches.
       b. they believe that Hallowe’en is a way to honor evil spirits and even the Devil. 
       c. they do not think children should receive free candy from strangers.
       d. the color of Hallowe’en is a symbol of Satan.

4. The primary colors of Hallowe’en are ____.
       a. orange and black.
       b. black and white.
       c. pink and black.
       d. red, white, and black.

5. For Hallowe’en, many Americans ____.
       a. decorate their houses with symbols of death and scary objects.
       b. carve faces into pumpkins, put lighted candles in them, and display them at their houses.
       c. wear costumes at parties and escort costumed children around the neighborhood in search of candy and other treats.
       d. All of the above

6. The most acceptable time for trick-or-treating from house to house is _____.
       a. from 6:00-8:00 PM on Hallowe’en evening.
       b. best learned from a colleague or person in your neighborhood.
       c. from dusk till midnight.
       d. the Saturday evening before October 31.

Baby in pumpkin costume

Quiz on Columbus Day (answers below)
1. According to historians, Christopher Columbus ____.
       a. was the first European to set foot in the Americas.
       b. arrived in North America in 1492.
       c. sailed his three ships back to Spain loaded with riches in 1493.
       d. was looking for a faster route to India and discovered the Americas by mistake.

2. Where did Christopher Columbus never visit?
       a. Cuba and Hispaniola
       b. North America
       c. Central America
       d. South America

3. Christopher Columbus was born in ____.
       a. Italy
       b. Spain
       c. Portugal
       d. Colombia

4. Native Americans today protest the celebration of Columbus Day because ____.
       a. he isn’t really Colombian.
       b. they know Leif Erikson was the first European to land in the New World.
       c. his exploration introduced disease, slavery and genocide of native people, and eventual European colonization of the Americas.
       d. he is commemorated in places like the District of Columbia, Columbus Ohio, and Columbia Missouri.

5. Most Americans celebrate Columbus Day by ____.
       a. watching parades.
       b. taking their families on vacation.
       c. flying American and Italian flags.
       d. None of the above

6. Fewer Americans celebrate the historical significance of Columbus Day, including the states of ____, where the focus of the date has been altered to reflect more culturally appropriate accomplishments.
       a. Michigan and Tennessee
       b. Hawaii and South Dakota
       c. Oregon and New York
       d. All of the above

————————————

ANSWERS

Hallowe’en
1. c. is the day before All Saints Day in the Christian church.
2. d. All of the above
3. b. they believe that Hallowe’en is a way to honor evil spirits and even the Devil.
4. a. orange and black.
5. d. All of the above
6. b. best learned from a colleague or person in your neighborhood.

Columbus Day
1. d. was looking for a faster route to India and discovered the Americas by mistake.
2. b. North America
3. a. Italy
4. c. his exploration introduced disease, slavery and genocide of native people, and eventual European colonization of the Americas.
5. d. None of the above
6. b. Hawaii and South Dakota

On Identity & Belonging: My Franco-Finnish Family's Story

Gilles and Annika Bourgogne: One couple, two cultures

On Identity and Belonging: My Franco-Finnish Family’s Story 

Guest post by Annika Bourgogne

This month it has been 20 years since my husband left his native France. Little did he know, at the tender age of 21, that his 12 months of studying abroad would turn into two decades and a family life there. Or that he would become very attached and integrated into his new homeland even if he naturally missed his native country and, despite the years passing, held tightly onto his cultural identity as a Frenchman.

Gilles arrived in Finland shortly before France started nuclear testing in the South Pacific in the nineties. A lot of the anger and resentment against France was directed towards the French students, and his first years abroad were not always easy. He felt that learning the local language and adjusting as much as possible to the way of life of his host country were the best ways to show people that he wasn’t just an outsider, but respected the new culture and wanted to integrate. He took language classes to perfect his Finnish skills, paid taxes, and went about his life like almost any other man his age in this country. At his bachelor party, he wore a blond wig and underwent a mock christening to become a “real Finn.” It took us until our children were born to realize that the acceptance of my husband in his new homeland did not have to happen at the expense of losing the culture he grew up with.

With the birth of our oldest daughter, we needed to rethink the cultural identity of our family. We finally accepted that we were not like most families in our neighborhood; we were a bicultural  family, and after all the years of trying to erase that difference, we were ready to embrace it and pass on to baby Emma all of her cultural heritage.

Since then, for the past 13 years, we have been performing a balancing act with our two cultures. Often this has meant reinforcing the one that is less present in the everyday life while at the same time taking special care to not undermine the culture of their birth country. To do this, we have helped our children become bilingual, celebrated the traditions of both countries, and spent summers in France to help them identify as a part of their French family, too. And the most important, if you ask their dad: we have taught them to cheer for Finland in ice hockey and for France in soccer. It could have, of course, been the other way round too, but frankly, the odds of winning would not have been as high!

The occasional struggles (and feelings of having two personalities!) come from the fact that in both cultures there are inevitably some aspects that you like and some that you don’t. The good news is that we as a family can often take the best from both worlds. As a Finn, I am very attached to many things in Finland, but there are many aspects of French culture that I couldn’t imagine life without. And no, I’m not only talking about wine. There's also cheese. And, joking aside, there’s wonderful literature, music, and lovely family dinners with great conversation that lasts for hours, to name just a few.

As a teacher, I often meet immigrant students and families who seem to believe that in order to integrate they need to leave their own cultural and linguistic heritage behind in favor of that of their host country. In the process, however, they are depriving their children of their heritage language, the culture, and perhaps even a natural relationship with a parent who may speak only rudimentary Finnish. I therefore try to encourage my immigrant students to speak and read in their first language and value their birth culture and traditions. Even if they now also belong to a new culture, it should never have to be just one or the other. Retaining one's own heritage while embracing the culture of the host country is not only for their own benefit; the whole host nation gains something from the diversity. Over the years my husband has learned to operate as a bridge between his two cultures and shown our children a great example of embracing both.

 “So, you're half Finnish and half French?” my daughter was asked at a sports event where she had painted a French flag and a Finnish flag on her face.  “No,” she shot back. “I'm Finnish AND French.” And there's nothing “half” about that.

Emma and Sara Bourgogne: One family embracing two cultures, two languages

-------------

Annika Bourgogne is a language teacher and the author of Be Bilingual - Practical Ideas of Multilingual Families. She lives in Helsinki, Finland with her French husband and two bilingual daughters.  You can access her book here, where she blogs on topics of language, culture, and identity: http://www.be-bilingual.net.

Benefits of Becoming a U.S. Citizen

I had the pleasure of visiting the International Institute of Metropolitan Detroit last week.  The Institute has been a fixture in downtown Detroit for 95 years.  While there, I took time for a cup of tea in their international café and observed people coming and going over the lunch hour: African Americans, Euro-Americans, Arabs, South Asians, Europeans, Southeast Asians, and others—truly representative of their "international" moniker!

During the visit, I was lucky to chat with Executive Director Wojciech Zolnowski, who told me about all the terrific services offered at the IIMD.  In addition to ESL classes, and cultural events, they offer immigration counseling services.  In fact, they were instrumental in getting citizenship for a senior citizen from Poland, whose story we covered earlier this year. 

As American citizens, my family and I take for granted so many benefits that come with our citizenship.  According to the Institute, they are numerous:

1.     Voting in federal elections

2.     Running for federal office

3.     Access to public benefits

4.     Retention of retirement income

5.     Petitioning for family members

6.     Unlimited travel with U.S. passport

7.     Citizenship for resident children under 18

8.     Protection from deportation

9.     Unlimited re-entry into the U.S.

10. Eligibility for government jobs

Of course, with these benefits comes responsibility to contribute to one’s local community and the nation.  From past conversations with immigrants to this country, I know this is something they take very seriously, something which continues to make the U.S. a great place to live and belong!

Naturalization ceremony, Kennedy Space Center

Expressions for Future Plans

Recently, a student asked me about different expressions regarding the future that he had heard at work.  All four expressions below are related to the future.

     •     from now on

     •     in the future

     •     down the road

     •     after this

Although they are similar, these expressions are not exactly the same.  Here is a hierarchy of their meanings.

1. We will need new software from now on.  STRONGEST: Beginning immediately (after this meeting, this moment, this discussion), new software is required.  The old software is no longer acceptable.  Period.  I’m serious.

2. We will need new software after this.  STRONG: Maybe not tomorrow, but very soon we will need to get new software.

3. We will need new software in the future.  NOT STRONG: New software will be needed sometime in the indefinite future.  Not immediately, but eventually.

4. We will need new software down the road.  WEAKEST: New software will be necessary at some point, but it’s not urgent.

Are there other puzzling expressions that you’ve heard?  Write to us.  Maybe we will feature your question in a future blog post.

How Restaurant Menus Trick You Into Spending More (video)

This link will take you to a short interview (2:51) about the tricks of the American restaurant business.*  Read over the eight notes below, and then listen to Sara Murray’s short interview with Quentin Fottrell.  After that, fill in the blanks.  Below is a helpful list of difficult vocabulary.  Below that are the answers.

1.     28% of diners will order the same item the following week if it has been re__________d.

2.     Diners will pay 12% more if an item has a ____________ name.

a.      Examples: Succulent Duck, instead of just Duck

b.     Cajun Chicken, instead of just Chicken

3.     Higher priced items are placed where consumers will more likely _____________ them.

a.      Examples: In the upper right-hand corner

b.     In the lower left-hand corner

c.      Inside a __________

4.     Putting all _________-calorie items inside one box

5.     Giving the lower-priced items _______________ names

6.     Giving the higher priced, higher calorie items fancy names

7.     Beware of set menus

a.      Set menus are only _______________ly cheaper than buying a la carte (individually)

b.     Set menus encourage buying _____________ items (like ice cream)

8.     Beware of “Specials”

a.      They might be ____________________’s leftovers.

b.     They may not be listed with the ____________.

Vocabulary

favorite diner = your favorite place to eat out

diners = people who eat out (dine in restaurants)

sly = clever, tricky

lame description = weak or unoriginal description

succulent = juicy, moist, rich, tasty

Cajun = (spicy) ethnic cuisine from Louisiana

be boxed off = an item separated from other items by a box around it

bargain bin = a container in a department store that holds sale items

watching your weight = eating on a diet

do the math = calculate

leftovers = food left from previous day(s) that was not eaten

cautionary tales = stories with a warning

ANSWERS

1.     28% of diners will order the same item the following week if it has been renamed.

2.     Diners will pay 12% more if an item has a fancy name.

a.      Examples: Succulent Duck, instead of just Duck

b.     Cajun Chicken, instead of just Chicken

3.     Higher priced items are placed where consumers will more likely see them.

a.      Examples: In the upper right-hand corner

b.     In the lower left-hand corner

c.      Inside a box

4.     Putting all low-calorie items inside one box

5.     Giving the lower-priced items simple names

6.     Giving the higher priced, higher calorie items fancy names

7.     Beware of set menus

a.      Set menus are only slightly cheaper than buying a la carte (individually)

b.     Set menus encourage buying extra items (like ice cream)

8.     Beware of “Specials”

a.      They might be yesterday’s leftovers.

b.     They may not be listed with the price.

* Wall Street Journal (August 4, 2014)

Freertago? What Americans Mean When They Talk Fast

Have you been in this situation? 

You’ve studied English for many years, but you’re new in the United States.  You’ve just placed your order at the fast food counter.  Instead of telling you the price, the food worker says, “Freertago?”  You blink, somewhat embarrassed that you have no idea what was just said to you. 

“Pardon me?”

“Freertago?” she repeats. 

You are still clueless, but maybe a kind person behind you explains, “She wants to know if you want to eat the food here or carry it out.”

Still blushing, you thank the stranger and mumble to the worker that you’ll be eating at the restaurant.

Fast food across the USA: for here or to go? (photo source: Wikipedia)

Fast speech.

It happens every day.  In English, common phrases get mushed together so that if you don’t know what to expect, you won’t understand what Americans are saying.

Fast speech is a kind of efficient way of combining sounds, de-emphasizing unimportant parts, while stressing the important ones. 

Part of your job as an English learner is to know what is likely to be said in certain situations.  The other part is to become better at listening to fast (or reduced) speech.

Are there other puzzling expressions you hear every day?  Send us a note about what it sounded like, who said it, and when/where they said it.  We’ll help you figure it out.

Paper or plastic? (photo source: www.meijer.com)

What's in a Name? (Part 2)

In the previous post, we talked about the need to pay attention to others' names, even if they are tricky for you to say. A person's name is his or her identity. It may come from a special relative or have a special meaning in their language or culture.

The need for flexibility. Most Americans have three names: given-middle-family (which are called “first-middle-last” ). This means most officials and and clerical information-takers in the United States expect clients, patients, and customers to follow this pattern. When internationals present their unique names, the Americans are flummoxed because there are standard boxes to fill in, but the names don’t cooperate. Additionally, sometimes American names can create problems. The following list represents the diversity of naming features that might cause confusion.

• Some Americans and internationals change over from a maiden name to a married name.
• Japanese traditionally have no middle names.
• African American first names may or may not be of African origin, but may represent neo-African sounds to the parents: La-Keesha, Tashonda, Jawon, DaShawn, LaToya, and Jaleesa.
• Some British people have two middle names.
• In the Middle East and Muslim Africa, some have the same first and last name, like Sirhan Sirhan or Mohamed Mohamed.
• Some Indonesians and Indians have one name only (no middle name, no last name), for example: Suharto.
• Some names have mixed upper/lower case, like von Beethoven, da Silva, Le Clerc, ten Broek, McDonald, MacGinty.
• Capital letters can come in the middle of a name (without spaces), like JoAnne, LeBron, PaulaSue, or MarcQus.
• Transliteration from another language (for example, Russian) yields many forms: Katya, Kattya, Ekaterina, and Yekaterina.
• Some famous entertainers are known by only one name: Cher, Ronaldo, Bono, Madonna, Tiger.
• Brazilians alphabetize rosters by first name, not by last.
• American males are named after their predecessors, with abbreviations following the whole name (and a comma): Sr., Jr., III, IV, V, etc.
• Diminutives for female first names come with many endings: -ette, -ina, -ita, -inha, -etta, -ie all mean “little.”
• Feminine forms of masculine names are made by adding -a at the end: Robert/Roberta, George/Georgia, Steven/Stephanie.
• Irish or Scottish names begin with an O and an apostrophe: O’Dell, O’Reilly, O’Toole.
• There are special nicknames for an American son named after his father, for example, Sonny or Junior.
• Czech women add -ova to their husband’s last name. For example, Mr. Fictum’s wife has the last name Fictumova.
• Some Americans and internationals use hyphenated last names.
• Both Americans and internationals may have long names that won’t fit into the blanks of a form.
• People of the Sikh religion all take the last name of Singh.
• Some Americans and internationals have first names with hyphenation, like Jean-Claude (French) or Karl-Oskar (German).
• Coming to the U.S., Koreans may anglicize their first and middle names (1) together or (2) hyphenated or (3) separately: Jeesun, Young-Sam, or Jang Young.
• A name can have multiple forms: Allen, Alan, Alain, Allen; Mohamed, Mahmoud, Mohammad; Catherine, Kathryn, Catharine.
• Family identity can play a role in Arabic names. A man named Mohamed may go by Abu Mazen (“Father of Mazen” ).
• American boxer George Foreman named all of his five children George.
• Some Nigerians name their children by the day of the week they were born on.
• In Scandinavia, the surname Svensson is the “Son of Sven” and Jonsdottir is the “Daughter of Jon.”
• Spanish names have (de +) the mother“s name at the end. The person’s name is alphabetized by the middle name, which is the father“s last name.
• Japanese, Chinese, and Koreans give their surname first, and their “first” name last.
• In order to stand out, some names are given with non-traditional spellings: Skot, Robyn, Isiah, Ocirris.

Let’s end with a little humor regarding names. The famous U.S. Olympic skier Picabo (pronounced “peek-a-boo” ) Street is not just an athlete; she is also a nurse. She currently works in the Intensive Care Unit (I.C.U.) of a large metropolitan hospital. She is not permitted to answer the telephone while she is at work, however. It simply causes too much confusion when she answers the phone and says, “Picabo, ICU.”

Two notes to non-native speakers: 1. Picabo Street is not really a nurse. 2. American parents play a game with their babies by covering their faces, then pulling away the hands or object hiding the face, and saying, “Peek-a-boo, I see you!” This makes the baby laugh.

Have you had a difficult time with Americans saying your name? Do you need help with a colleague's unusual name? Write to tell us about it. Between us and our readers, we're sure to have some suggestions for you.

What's in a Name?

“The sweetest sound to the human ear is that of one’s own name.” — Proverb

The difficulty of it all. Adjusting to life in a new culture can be especially difficult when it comes to using names. Names have all sorts of cultural information attached to them. Some names denote age, seniority, or birth order; nicknames are limited by who can use them and what gender or group they are attached to. For foreigners, knowing how to pronounce names in the United States can be particularly tricky because the centuries of immigrants to this country as well as the original natives from North America represent hundreds of cultures and languages, further confounding the rules and pronunciations. Americans who have foreign-born co-workers can help out these internationals by being extra sensitive to the myriad names which confront a person every day.

Names in U.S. history. In the past, immigrants to the United States were coaxed, prodded, or forced into changing their names to “fit in” in ears, brains, and writing system of predominant English culture. Immigration officials shortened long names, rewrote “unpronounceable” names, and substituted “unrecognizable” names with anglicized ones. A New York Times article talks about this history and how it has changed, with many 21st century immigrants keeping their names (and spellings) intact.

My paternal grandfather, Gustav Einar Hedblom, emigrated to the United States in 1920. In order to keep the original Swedish pronunciation, he anglicized the spelling of his surname to Headbloom. Originally, the name is a compound noun: hed (meaning “heath” or “heather” ) and blom (meaning “blossom” or “flower” ). My younger brother reverted to the old spelling years ago, while my parents, sisters, children, and I all used the new American spelling.

Bottom line: A person’s name may have special meaning to him or her. It may be given to commemorate an occasion, to represent a heritage, to honor a special friend or ancestor, or because it has a special sound or meaning. Here are some do’s and don’ts about that Sweetest Sound:

• Don’t automatically shorten someone’s name or give them a nickname for your own convenience. It’s not yours to choose.
• Make every attempt to write and say another’s name correctly. It is a sign of respect.
• Don’t be embarrassed to ask several times for the correct pronunciation. People with unusual names are usually practiced and patient.
• Practice saying or writing a newcomer’s name correctly. This will help you learn faster.
• Don’t be afraid to ask about an unusual name’s meaning or origin. Most people like to talk about their name’s history. In the process of learning, you may make a new friend.

If you have an example of a sad or confusing or funny story related to names, please let us know. We’d love to share it with our readers. Here’s one that someone has shared with us.

Beyond Baseball: Humorous Sayings by Yogi Berra

In the recent past, the Major League Baseball Hall of Fame inducted three former professional players because of their lifetime achievements in the sport. One of them was Rickey Henderson, a flamboyant and fiery player who was elected by the ballots of sports writers in his first year of eligibility for the Hall (five years after retirement). A second honoree, Jim Rice, was on the ballot for the 15th (and last possible) time before being voted in by 75% of the official ballots. A third player, Joe Gordon, was honored posthumously, having died in 1978. He was elected by a special ballot of the Veterans Committee, which has the responsibility of evaluating older players who may have been mistakenly kept out of the Hall of Fame immediately following their retirement.

As I thought about great American baseball players of the past, I was reminded of an American icon of the game, New York Yankee catcher Yogi Berra. Berra was a baseball star of the 1940s and 50s and is still alive at this writing. More than just an elite athlete, he is seen as a kind of down-home American philosopher. Although Berra had only an 8th grade education, he is more quoted than most American Presidents. His quotations, called Yogi-isms, have an undeniable element of truth to them, even though they are not always logical, grammatical, or complete.

Here are a few of his unintended witticisms:

• About the outcome of a baseball game: “It ain’t over till it’s over.”
• “Never answer an anonymous letter.”
• “I usually take a two-hour nap from one to four.”
• “It’s deja vu all over again.”
• “When you come to a fork in the road, take it.”
• “I didn’t really say everything I said.”
• The champion 1969 NY Mets were “overwhelming underdogs.”
• “Do you mean now?” he said when asked what time is was.
• To the crowds on Yogi Berra Day, St Louis, 1947: “I want to thank you for making this day necessary.”
• On why New York lost the 1960 championship to Pittsburgh: “We made too many wrong mistakes.”
• “You can observe a lot by watching.”
• “The future ain’t what it used to be.”
• On sunset in the western U.S. time zones: “It gets late early out here.”
• “If the world were perfect, it wouldn’t be.”
• On public attendance at games: “If the people don’t want to come out to the ballpark, nobody’s going to stop them.”

For more Yogi-isms, go here.
For more background, go here.

A book was published in 2011 about the cliches used in the game of baseball. This is for the true baseball fan.

April Fools Day

Getting pranked on the day of fools.

The 1st of April is celebrated in many countries as a day for foolish activities. In France, people who get tricked are called April Fish as others try to hang paper fish on their backs without their noticing. In Iran, the day for playing pranks is called Sizdah Bedar, perhaps the oldest such tradition in the world. In the U.S., April Fools Day is not a national holiday, but countless Americans enjoy playing tricks on friends, classmates, co-workers, and family members this day.

Tricks are of two general types: practical jokes and hoaxes. A practical joke—also called prank or shenanigan—involves physically altering someone’s environment. Here are some examples:

• Taping down the button on the spray handle on the kitchen sink so that when another family member turns on the faucet, the water sprays out the spray nozzle directly at the person.
• Short-sheeting involves making up a person’s bed with the bottom half of the bedsheet folded back up to the top to look like the cover sheet, and a blanket is pulled over the half-sheet to hide it. When the sleeper attempts to get into bed, the legs can only go halfway under the covers before being stopped by the looped sheet.
• A friend of mine said her father used to place Saran Wrap on the family toilet. The clear wrap goes over the toilet bowl (and under the seat) so it seals off the toilet and makes a mess when it is used.
• My sister reminded me that when I was young, I replaced the sugar in the kitchen sugar bowl with salt. My dad got a big surprise after “sweetening” his morning coffee and taking a sip! He didn’t laugh when I shouted, “April Fool!”

photo sources: phase.com, fotolia.com

“April 1. This is the day upon which we are reminded of what we are on the other three hundred and sixty-four.” ~Mark Twain, American humorist

April Fool’s Prank in Denmark (photo: Lars Andersen)

Hoaxes, the second kind of trick, involve fooling people with misleading information.

Young women sometimes trick a friend into believing they are pregnant when they aren’t. Simpler tricks involve telling others that their shoelace is untied, their zipper is down, or they have something on their shirt. When they look down to check what’s wrong, the prankster shouts, “April Fool!”

Even internet giant Google enjoys hoaxes, as seen in this almost-believable video they produced announcing a new product called Google Tulip.

Perhaps the best trick played on me was when my wife called me breathless from her car. “Alan,” she said, “I can’t believe it! I was driving past the casino and decided to stop in for just a minute.” I couldn’t tell over the phone if she was about to cry or burst from excitement. “I thought I would go in, bet $20, and then leave. Honey, I won $57,000!” Of course, I believed her. As I began talking about how we could spend the money, she blurted out, “April Fool!”

Of course, once you are tricked on April Fools Day, you become wary about trusting people for the rest of the day. “Fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, shame on me,” is the old Chinese proverb.

I hope all of your April Fools Day pranks are gentle and harmless. Just look carefully before you use the toilet or kitchen sink at your friend’s house!

photo sources: ratremove.com, airlase.com

Source: Wikipedia

Girl, Lady, or Woman?

Many learners of English ask, “What is the difference between the three expressions, girl, lady, and woman?”

To answer this deceptively simple question, I referred to the Longman Dictionary of American English and also asked a number of native-speaking friends and colleagues. Below is a list of examples plus a summary.

Girl
1. a female child: tall for a girl her age | when I was a little girl | girl clung to her mother’s dress
2. a daughter: We have two girls and a boy.
3. a newborn child: It’s a girl!
4. a woman’s female friends: I’m going out tonight with the girls. | Let’s go, girls!
5. informal encouragement/approval for any female: You go, girl! | Atta girl! (= That’s a [good] girl!)
6. girlfriend: She’s my girl. (old-fashioned)
7. name for employee: the girls working in the office (old-fashioned, considered offensive or sexist by feminists)
8. weak person: You throw like a girl. (derogatory)
9. a gay male (spoken by another gay male): Hi, girls!
10. female solidarity: Hillary Clinton’s my girl!

Lady
1. woman, esp. to be polite or if unknown: the young lady working behind the counter
2. woman with a strong character: She can be one tough lady to negotiate with!
3. unfamiliar woman (impolite, spoken): Hey, lady, get out of my way!
4. a formal or polite adult female: behaves like a lady
5. wife of a British Lord or Knight: Lady Wimbledon
6. formal address: Welcome, ladies and gentlemen, to our annual event.
7. civil or friendly address: Good evening, ladies. Can I bring you a drink while you’re looking at the menu?
8. a girl: (used by someone in authority): Where do you think you’re going, little lady?

Woman
1. an adult female: the woman I was talking to | a married woman | women’s clothing department
2. a profession or job: saleswoman, chairwoman, spokeswoman, businesswoman, congresswoman
3. a medical reference: a 20-year-old woman with headaches | a procedure for any woman over 50
4. patronizing speech from a male adult: Woman, bring me another beer! | What you talking about, woman?
5. an old woman is someone who is facing health/physical challenges

Summary
As can be seen above, there are many specialized uses. The comments in this paragraph refer only to chronological (age) assignments. As a rule of thumb, use “girl” for any female up to college age, use “young woman” until about 30, and use “woman” after 30. “Young” can be added depending on the age of the speaker. “Old” is not really appropriate; instead, give the female person’s age if it is relevant to your story. Sometimes the distinction between “girl” and “young woman” depends more on perceived maturity and less on actual age.

Cultural Notes
For feminists (especially many native English speakers who lived through the 1960s and 1970s women’s movement), the term “woman” is preferred in everyday speech over “lady” to designate an adult female. First, it is the linguistic counterpart to “man.” Second is the perception that “lady” has classist and sexist connotations; to them, a “lady” represents an inconsequential female of no personal accomplishment (other than connection to nobility). Here, the assumption is that any female who can compete head to head with a man should have the parallel expression of “woman.” Older Americans of both genders who do not identify with the women’s movement or notions of legal/financial/political equity tend to use the term “lady,” including expressions which “mark” (and therefore diminish) the professional stature of trained females: lady doctor, lady mechanic, lady pilot, lady engineer. This group may also include speakers of lower education or more rural status who identify female office workers as the “office girls” (even though they would never say “office boys” to identify the males who work in the office).

If a female is unfamiliar, a public reference to her as “lady” may feel more polite: the lady who dropped her purse | This lady was ahead of me in line (so please wait on her next).

Note the paired human expressions below.
MALE / FEMALE (NOTES/MEANINGS)
Man / Woman (An adult person)
Gentleman / Lady (A formal expression)
Lord / Lady (Titles of nobility)
Boy / Girl (Youth)
Guy / Gal, Girl (Informal titles)
Dude / Chick (Slang titles)
Actor / Actress (Modern usage favors “actor” for both genders.)
Steward / Stewardess (Unless necessary, use “flight attendant.” )
Male nurse / Nurse (Modern usage uses “nurse” for both.)
Chairman / Chairwoman (May use “chair” or “chairperson” )

Note the old-fashioned referents which implied all people or a particular gender and their more modern substitutes.
OLD // MODERN-NEUTRAL
man // person
men // people
everyman // everyone
mankind // humankind
kingdom // territory
he // he/she, s/he, one, they
his // his/her, one’s, their
policeman // police officer
fireman // fire fighter
mailman // letter carrier
cleaning lady // housekeeper
God/he // God/God
secretary // office professional (O.P.) or assistant
workmen // workers

Note the paired animal expressions below.
MALE / FEMALE / NAME WHEN GENDER IS UNIMPORTANT
sire / bitch / dog
tomcat / she-cat / cat
fox / vixen / fox
tiger / tigress / tiger
lion / lioness / lion
ram / ewe / sheep
boar / sow / pig
buck / doe / deer
bull / cow / cow
stallion / mare / horse
rooster, cock / hen / chicken
drake / hen / duck
gander / goose / goose
tom / hen / turkey

Cultural Signs of Spring (3)

March Madness. You may have noticed lots of extra attention on basketball around you recently. Men’s and women’s college tournaments have started. The men’s tourney, the second-most popular sports event after the Super Bowl, recently jumped from 64 to 68 qualifying teams. Perennially, the biggest controversy surrounds whether or not your favorite team is selected and then how high (or low) your favorite is ranked in the pairings. The team pairings are arranged in “brackets,” which are printed out and shared among friends and co-workers, often with wagers placed on the outcomes. Looking at the bracketed pairings below, you can see that the left and right margins are filled with specific team names, with the winners of each bracket advancing towards the championship slots in the middle of the chart.

The tournament seems “mad” because of the frenzied beginning to the competition. After a preliminary play-in round with the lowest 8 teams, the first full round begins with 32 games in two days, with lots of TV coverage and highlight reports—a basketball lover’s dream. After the initial Thursday/Friday round, 32 teams are eliminated. After the second round (Saturday/Sunday), 16 more teams are eliminated. The goal is to finish the first weekend of play by advancing to the Sweet Sixteen. The second weekend eliminates eight teams in the third round and four more teams in the fourth round, taking the winners from the Elite Eight to the Final Four.

Reaching the hallowed ground of the Final Four gives prestige and national attention to those universities. The semifinal and final rounds will be played in Houston, TX this year. Culture tip: During this three-week period, it’s customary to ask your sports-minded friends and co-workers, “How are your brackets doing? This year, as in the past, the President has chosen the winners and losers of the brackets. http://espn.go.com/mens-college-basketball/story/_/id/10630406/louisville-michigan-st-arizona-florida-obama-final-four”

New Vocabulary and Cultural Concepts
alliteration = a feature of creative writing which puts together words with the same first letter (March Madness, Sweet Sixteen, Elite Eight, Final Four). Americans love alliteration.
perennially = every year
ranked pairings = The top 64 teams are separated into four regional competitions (with 16 teams in each region). The #1 ranked (or seeded) team plays the lowest team, #16 while the #2 *team plays the #15 team, and so on.
mad = often used to mean “angry,” but here it means “crazy”
frenzied = crazy, wild, busy
hallowed = holy, sacred
favored (or favorite) teams = top-ranked teams
underdog teams = teams predicted to lose
to be upset = to lose to a lesser-ranked (non-favored) team

Cultural Signs of Spring (2)

Spring cleaning. After staying indoors for four months, my fellow Michiganders are going stir-crazy, afflicted with a psycho-social malady known as cabin fever. As springtime nears, people feel the need to begin cleaning up their cluttered homes. My wife and I began by having a handyman install some new shelving in our closets. This led to the desire for more home improvements: new wall outlets, lighting inside closets, new bathroom fixtures and lights, and wall repairs and painting. Once stir-crazy people get started, it’s hard to stop.

The next target, once we got enthusiastic about cleaning, was to re-organize our junk drawer. Every American kitchen has a junk drawer. It’s the place for random objects that don’t logically belong elsewhere. Below is a photo of our junk drawer contents emptied onto the counter. It contained scissors, package cutters, screwdrivers, pens, binder clips, rubber bands, electrical adapters, twisty-ties, screws, paper clips, a measuring tape, picture hangers, nails, scotch tape, pliers, adhesive pads, gripper tongs, two wire mesh baskets, batteries, misplaced gizmos, and unidentifiable junk.

The first thing any organizational expert will tell you is that you never need any more than six twisty-ties in your junk drawer. I counted over 50. I threw away most of them, saving a half-dozen for daily use and putting the fancy gold and silver ones into our decorations cupboard along with the colored ribbons.

50+ twisty ties (too many for one drawer!)

binder clips (work better than potato chip bag clips)

picture hangers and nails

Next, I sorted out loose objects that had other “homes” around the house. Nuts, bolts, and screws went into the appropriate organizer bins on the garage workbench. Batteries were taken there as well. Extra plastic caps for the opened dog food can went into the dog supplies cupboard (we only need one cap at a time in the kitchen!). Paper clips went into my office. Finally, into the garbage went broken rubber bands and other unidentifiable odds and ends that had no recognizable purpose—other than cluttering up our junk drawer.

When I finished, I had a neatly organized junk drawer, arranged so that everything was findable. I often tell my wife, “If you can’t find it, you don’t really own it.” We are often searching for stuff we know must be somewhere; we just don’t remember where!

newly organized drawer!

One funny final note. Two days after the Great Drawer Re-Organization, I found a thingamabob in the kitchen. I wasn’t sure what it was or where it went. So, I threw it in the junk drawer, figuring that was a good place to keep it for the time being! In two years, I’ll probably throw it away when I’m cleaning it out again.

New Vocabulary and Cultural Concepts (spring cleaning)
stir-crazy = feeling uncomfortable because of inactivity
afflicted = having (a disease)
malady = illness
cabin fever = feeling like you’ve been locked inside your small cabin for too long
cluttered = messy, disorganized
handyman = a person who is handy (skilled) at many jobs (carpentry, plumbing, painting, etc.)
junk = stuff
gizmos = for a full description, see this blog
twisty-ties = thin pieces of wire wrapped in paper or plastic, used to close the end of bread bags, etc.
odds and ends = miscellaneous things
thingamabob = see here
for the time being = for now, for the present time

Cultural Signs of Spring (1)

Here in Michigan, days are getting sunnier, robins will soon be appearing in our yards, and eventually the only remnants of snow will reside at the edges of parking lots where mountains of snow had previously been plowed up. Physical signs aside, there are three cultural indications that it is now springtime in the American Midwest:

• Mulch bags
• March Madness
• Spring cleaning

Today's blog post covers the first sign that spring has come to the American Midwest.

Mulch bags. The corner gas stations stack up palette after palette of yard mulch in see-through plastic bags. This is the sign for do-it-yourself gardeners that it’s time to rake up lawn debris and any recalcitrant leaves that blew into the flower beds after leaf rakes were put away for the winter. Once the beds are prepped, a new layer of mulch gets added to hold in moisture for the plants and to dress up the beds’ appearance. The shredded bark mulch comes in two formats: natural “wood-colored” and tinted (red, black, or dark brown). At my local Speedway station, I know it's spring when the palettes rise over six feet tall and completely obscure the gas pumps from view.

New Vocabulary and Cultural Concepts
robins = the robin is the official state bird of Michigan
remnants = leftover pieces
mulch = shredded organic material from trees, used to top-dress bedding plants and keep moisture in. Another mulching material is ground-up tree branches. The chunks are less consistent in shape and texture, less attractive, sold in bulk (instead of bags), and therefore, less expensive.
palette = a flat wooden form for holding stacked materials, easily picked up and moved by forklift trucks
lawn debris = miscellaneous pieces of trash accumulated under the winter’s snow (sticks, paper, cigarette butts, etc.)
recalcitrant = uncooperative, resistant

Watch this blog for the other two signs that spring is on the way!

Disgruntled, Uncouth, and Inept

During a recent class discussion about an article on delayed retirement benefits, a student and I came across the expression “disgruntled senior.” Normally, I try to balance between giving a quick and simple definition/synonym and more fully explaining where the word comes from. In this case, I was merely going to explain that it meant “dissatisfied” or “angry” when the student asked if it meant “not gruntled.” He was thinking about the words like practical-impractical, wise-unwise, able-disable. At this point, he needed a longer explanation. Namely, there is a class of English words that exists mainly in the negative, where the positive form has been lost over time.

Below is a list of these “lost positives”—a few dozen of them. If you remove the negative prefixes (un- im- in- dis- de- non-) from the word, it will sound funny to native speakers—because today we only know these words in the negative. For example, we don’t say “He has a maculate [= messy/dirty] apartment.” The opposite of an inept person is a competent person, not an “ept” person. However, there is the related meaning, “He has good apt -itude.”

See how many of these words you know. Most of them are adjectives, but a few are nouns or verbs. Enjoy!

Lost Positive Examples [Meanings, synonyms]
———————————————————————————
> an immaculate apartment [completely tidy/clean, no dirt]
> an inept person [incompetent]
> an unmistakable signature [with no doubt]
> an uncouth slob [ill-mannered, crude, unrefined]
> an inimitable character [unique, can’t be copied]
> his unkempt hair [messy, not combed]
> a disheveled appearance [messy, untidy]
> an unrequited love [not given back, unreciprocated]
> a disgruntled employee [angry, very dissatisfied]
> an inane subject [foolish, stupid]
> an inebriated man [drunken]
> to unfurl the flag [unfold, unroll]
> an unwieldy package [awkward, hard to carry]
> in disarray [mess, disorganization]
> an ungainly teenager [clumsy, awkward]
> be traveling incognito [disguised, unrecognizable]
> unbeknownst to me [not known, unaware]
> an untoward remark [unkind, unfriendly, impolite]
> an impeccable appearance [very tidy, without flaws]
> an unheard-of comment [said for the first time]
> her unswerving loyalty [steady, without deviation]
> an inevitable outcome [predetermined, unchangeable]
> an unflappable demeanor [patient, can’t make angry]
> their unbridled passion [uncontrolled, unrestrained]
> an unsung hero [not well known or praised]
> a nonplussed manager [surprised, confused, speechless]
> some disconcerting news [upsetting, disappointing]
> be left incommunicado [without means of communicating]
> be unnerved by the TV news [frightened, disturbed]
> their nonpareil CEO [unequaled, peerless, best]
> be purchased sight unseen [without inspection]
> an indomitable spirit [confident, fearless]
> an incorrigible liar [can’t be reformed or corrected]
> an incapacitated soldier [incapable of moving]
> an untold story [never told]
> an interminable lecture [endless]
> the unmitigated destruction [uncontrolled, unrelieved]
> an unruly crowd [without manners or controls]
> to have misgivings [doubts, reservations]
> an impromptu speech [unplanned, spur-of-the-moment]
> an impetuous boy [impulsive, emotional, passionate]
> some uncalled-for criticism [inappropriate, unwarranted]
> be disabused of that notion [relieved, freed from falsehood]
> an insipid comment [stupid]
> to debunk the myth [expose the falseness, correct]
> be dismayed by the results [discouraged, saddened]
> an unsavory character [distasteful, offensive]
> a misnomer [wrong name, bad identification]
> an inadvertent shot [unintended, mistaken]
> an inchoate plan [imperfect, incomplete, early-staged]
> an indefatigable teacher [tireless, energetic]
> an ungodly hour [outrageous, sinful]
> a noncommittal response [without revealing or promising]
> an unimpeachable source [completely reliable, blameless]
> an unprecedented decision [unknown, never happening before]
> an unconscionable act [immoral, unacceptable, unthinkable]
> an inscrutable face [mysterious, impossible to interpret]
> an invincible foe [impossible to defeat]

Note: The word discombobulate [meaning: to cause confusion, chaos, disarray] is a fun, informal word with no positive form (combobulate). However, it is an invented word (from the 1800s) and not officially a lost positive. People just like saying it because it SOUNDS confusing! You can also use it as an adjective: “I feel so discombobulated today.”

There was a very funny story written in the New Yorker which purposely used lost positives minus their negative prefixes in order to achieve a humorous effect.

Judging Others

The human response of seeing the same behavior in very different ways.

With billions of people on this earth, there are countless behaviors going on every day. When people behave in a certain way, those around them will make judgments: “That’s good…That’s appropriate…That’s normal.” Or: “That’s strange…That’s rude…That’s bad.” Among the people around us, we usually agree on what’s appropriate and what’s inappropriate. However, if we enter a circle that is unlike our “home” circle, people’s judgments on appropriate vs. inappropriate will differ. This blog outlines those differences.

Throughout the world, we can all agree on some behaviors as necessary and appropriate. Eating is normal. All humans eat to survive. Ditto with breathing, learning, and sleeping. When a behavior is shared among all people, we call it Universal. As human beings, we have these behaviors in common.

Within a certain group, specific rules take hold. While eating is universal, the manner of eating is not. Some people eat with chopsticks, others with forks, or others with the hands. When the rules vary from one group to another, we call those behaviors Cultural. Slurping soup, for example, is considered appropriate in China. (The “logic” is that the soup is hot or the noodles are slippery.) In the U.S., slurping of any food is considered rude. (The “logic” is that the noise disturbs the serenity of fellow diners.) Styles of eating are not universal.

Finally, there is a kind of behavior that has no seeming reason to it. When it happens, all people around the behavior judge it as strange or idiosyncratic. So, we must realize that some people behave outside the boundaries of the group rules. We call this behavior Personal.

From this, we can create a framework for behavior in which to analyze actions we observe in the world:

<———— U ——————— C ———————- P ————>
Universal behavior….Cultural behavior….Personal behavior
Everyone does it. …..One group does it. ..One person does it.

The dangers of ethnocentrism. When we make judgments about other people’s behavior under the assumption that our rules or values are the logical, the best, or the only rules to apply, we are being ethnocentric. Ethnocentrism comes from Greek words ethno (ethnic group, tribe, cultural identity) + centrism (being at the center), in other words, evaluating other peoples from the standards of one’s own culture. Basically, it’s seeing the world as if our group is at the center of it all. This is an intrinsically human flaw, something we all do.

The danger of having ethnocentric views and judgments is that outside of our narrow group (our region, our dialect, our social class, our religion, our race, our education, our sexual identity), other rules of being and behavior apply. Within those other groups, members are busy obeying other rules. And this makes it tricky to cross cultures. In terms of the chart above, we start to think that our C should be everyone’s U, and we make judgments that get us into trouble.

Questions to ask in a cross-cultural encounter. So, what should you do when you sense that this Other Person you’re talking to is not behaving by The Rules? You need to do a quick self-check before leveling further judgment (and getting yourself upset). Ask yourself these questions:
1. What are my own fears, preferences, and biases?
2. Is the behavior I’m struggling with Personal, Cultural, or Universal?
3. Could my language sound ethnocentric to the other person?
4. Finally, am I trying to solve a problem, or am I trying to be “right”?

And for a light-hearted perspective, let me share a cartoon from the famous American humorist, Gary Larson. He reminds us that even when almost everyone within one culture agrees (C ), some difficult person is going to break the rules and do something his own way (P). Some people, we can all agree, are just jerks.

Low-Cost or No-Cost Ways of Saying "I Love You."

In honor of Valentine’s Day, here are 14 ways to tell your sweetie how much you care.

First off, this note is written by a male, primarily for a male audience. Females, by and large, have less trouble expressing their feelings. Men, on the other hand, are not so adept at sharing their affection with their partner. So, guys, this is for you. If the women out there pick up a nice tip or two from this list, then I’m happy for you as well. Happy Valentine’s Day, now and throughout the year! (At the end, there is a list of explanations for difficult vocabulary plus a list of popular nicknames for your Valentine.)

1. Love from the heart: Hide a bag’s worth of heart-shaped candy all over her personal space: her office, her sock drawer, her glove compartment, her workout bag…you get the idea. The discoveries will happen for weeks and months later. (Cost: $5)

2. Auto service: Vacuum out your sweetie’s car, wash it, and fill it with gas. Okay, no one likes to have to go get gas, especially if you’re running late—like my wife often is. What a pleasant surprise. (Cost: $0)

3. Chef moi: Cook dinner for your Valentine. Use her favorite mushrooms. Or fave dessert. You know what your honey’s best meal is. Pick up the ingredients on your way home. (Cost: $10-20)

4. Unspoken love notes: My wife’s favorite number is 3. Better yet, she loves 33. (I don’t know why, she just does.) Because she does the bookkeeping in our household, I try to get 3’s to show up wherever I can. The best place is when I fill up the car with gas on the debit card. I always stop the amount total on 33¢ so she sees that number when she’s paying bills and balancing the budget. It’s like a little I-love-you note amongst all the paperwork. (Cost: $0)

5. Sticky notes: Put little love Post-Its everywhere! On your darling’s computer keyboard. Inside the microwave. On the back of the door. Inside a make-up bag. On the car visor. Hidden in a kitchen drawer. Someplace where it’ll be found tonight, next week, or maybe a year from now. (Cost: $2 for sticky note pad)

6. Nicknames: “Hey there, good looking!” “Good morning, gorgeous.” “Lookin’ good tonight, sweet cakes!” “Hubba, hubba, babelicious!” “How’s it going, tootsie roll?” I’m sure you have your own special nickname(s) for your sugar plum. Use it. Get playful. (Cost: $0)

7. Tall, bold letters: Attach a 6-foot, hand-lettered banner on the garage door for when she drives up. Hang it over her desk at work. Get up early and tape it to the bathroom mirror before she wakes. (Cost: $5 for paper, marker, tape)

8. Singing voicemails: Even if your voice is just so-so, call up and belt out your Valentine’s favorite tune when you know he or she can’t answer the phone. Your crooning voicemail can be saved and replayed at a future time. (Cost: $0)

9. Amor sur la table: Set a place at the kitchen table with a special placemat, arrange the utensils in an interesting design, get fancy with the napkin. Arrange a sumptuous fruit plate in colorful patterns. Put a little garnish next to your sweetie’s sandwich and chips. Just an extra bit of attention, the smallest flair. (Cost: $0)

10. Nature comes inside: Bring flowers in from the garden. No flowers? Not a problem. How about some nice hosta leaves? Maybe a few stems of flowering crab apple? If it’s still cold and wintry by you, a few cut branches and stems can make an interesting organic sculpture in a vase. (Cost: $0)

11. A song to warm the heart: Hire a local school choir to give her a singing Valentine. On the phone—or better yet, in person! Nothing like a personalized serenade to melt the heart. See what your local choral group has on its fundraising agenda. Here’s. one example . (Cost: $10-25)

12. Love pats: A little tap on the behind when your partner is passing by. This can be combined with #6 above. (Don’t have any expectations for a sudden bout of amorousness, but this could also be a trigger…!) Or try a little rub of the shoulders, a random kiss on the back of the neck, or at a meal, a little spontaneous footsie. Most of us like to be touched. (Cost: $0)

13. Ahh, a little down and to the left: Pick up a bottle of scented lotion and promise her a nice back rub—or foot rub, if she’s not ticklish. Reminder: trim your fingernails ahead of time! (Cost: $7)

14. Elegant simplicity: Leave a signed card and a single rose at her place at the breakfast table. You get extra credit if you made the card yourself. (Cost: $10)

New Vocabulary and Cultural Concepts

• First off, = To begin with,
• by and large = mostly, generally speaking
• adept = skilled
• heart-shaped candy = sugar candy with short messag…
• running late = behind schedule
• moi = [French] me
• Hubba, hubba! = [old fashioned] Wow! Good looking…
• to drive up = to arrive at one’s destination (here…
• to belt out = sing loudly
• crooning = romantic singing
• Amor sur la table = [French] love on the table
• sumptuous = luxurious looking, splendid
• garnish = small plate decoration to add extra ele…
• flair = attractiveness, special skill or design
• hosta = garden plant with large elegant leaves (an…
• (There’s) noting like… = Nothing can compare
• serenade = private concert
• melt the heart = to make someone emotional
• love pats = brief, affectionate touches
• on the behind = on the backside, bottom, buttocks
• bout = event, occasion
• amorousness = romance, loving, affection
• footsie = flirtation under the table by touching …
• down and to the left = instructions for a person w…
• ticklish = sensitive to touching, causing laughter…
• extra credit = bonus points (expression from spec…

Nicknames of endearment

• sweetie, sweetheart, sweetie pie, sweet cheeks
• sugar plum
• hon, honey, honey bun, honey bunch
• Tootsie Roll
• babe, baby, baby cakes, baby doll, babykins
• babelicious (baby + delicious)
• darling, darlin’
• buttercup, cupcake
• dumpling, dumplin’
• angel
• cutie pie
• princess
• snookums
• love bug