Muffler Dream

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A woman dreams all night long that she is a muffler.

What's So Funny?

The woman's night-long dream left her feeling exhausted (very tired) in the morning.

The smoky emission that comes out of a car's muffler is called "exhaust."

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Alan Headbloom

Alan advises Americans how to be global citizens and expats how to fit in to Michigan culture without annoying their native coworkers and clients. He also tweets and blogs at the intersection of language and culture. Over decades, he's traveled, studied, or lived on six continents, putting strange foods into his mouth and emitting strange sounds from it. His use of English, German, Spanish, Portuguese, French, Swedish, Hausa, and Japanese all improve with alcohol use. He gives invited public presentations on culture and unsolicited private advice on English grammar and usage; the latter isn't always appreciated. Visit his website for information on consulting, coaching, or speaking engagements.

New Father Joke

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Why did the new father only change his child's diaper once a week?

What's So Funny?

The father read "5-10 pounds" on the diaper package. He thought it meant the capacity of the diaper, not the weight of the child.

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Alan Headbloom

Alan advises Americans how to be global citizens and expats how to fit in to Michigan culture without annoying their native coworkers and clients. He also tweets and blogs at the intersection of language and culture. Over decades, he's traveled, studied, or lived on six continents, putting strange foods into his mouth and emitting strange sounds from it. His use of English, German, Spanish, Portuguese, French, Swedish, Hausa, and Japanese all improve with alcohol use. He gives invited public presentations on culture and unsolicited private advice on English grammar and usage; the latter isn't always appreciated. Visit his website for information on consulting, coaching, or speaking engagements.

Birthday Fridge

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What is the best part of giving someone a refrigerator for his/her birthday?

What's So Funny?

The expression "your face lights up" means you are so happy that your face becomes brighter.  A refrigerator has an automatic switch inside that turns on the light inside when the door is opened.  The light shines on the contents of the fridge and the face of the person who opened the door.

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Alan Headbloom

Alan advises Americans how to be global citizens and expats how to fit in to Michigan culture without annoying their native coworkers and clients. He also tweets and blogs at the intersection of language and culture. Over decades, he's traveled, studied, or lived on six continents, putting strange foods into his mouth and emitting strange sounds from it. His use of English, German, Spanish, Portuguese, French, Swedish, Hausa, and Japanese all improve with alcohol use. He gives invited public presentations on culture and unsolicited private advice on English grammar and usage; the latter isn't always appreciated. Visit his website for information on consulting, coaching, or speaking engagements.

Sheepdog Report

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A sheepdog brings a flock of sheep back to the farm at day's end. "I brought back 30 sheep," the dog tells the farmer. "But I only have 27 sheep," the farmer protests.  "Oh, I know," said the sheepdog. "I rounded them up."

What's So Funny?

The expression "to round up" has two meanings:

1. In mathematics, rounding means going to the next even number.  If the total is 26, 27, 28, or 29, it will be "rounded up" to 30  If the total is 24, 23, 22, or 21, it will be "rounded down" to 20.

2. In herding, like in police work, "rounding up" means gathering together many stray individuals (for example, sheep or cows in ranching, or criminal suspects in policing).

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Alan Headbloom

Alan advises Americans how to be global citizens and expats how to fit in to Michigan culture without annoying their native coworkers and clients. He also tweets and blogs at the intersection of language and culture. Over decades, he's traveled, studied, or lived on six continents, putting strange foods into his mouth and emitting strange sounds from it. His use of English, German, Spanish, Portuguese, French, Swedish, Hausa, and Japanese all improve with alcohol use. He gives invited public presentations on culture and unsolicited private advice on English grammar and usage; the latter isn't always appreciated. Visit his website for information on consulting, coaching, or speaking engagements.

Porch Painting

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A drifter comes into town and asks if there are any odd jobs he could do.

What's So Funny?

The drifter misunderstands the woman's job instructions.  She says to paint the porch, but he thinks she says the Porsche (which is an expensive car). Both Porsches and BMWs are expensive German-made cars.

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Alan Headbloom

Alan advises Americans how to be global citizens and expats how to fit in to Michigan culture without annoying their native coworkers and clients. He also tweets and blogs at the intersection of language and culture. Over decades, he's traveled, studied, or lived on six continents, putting strange foods into his mouth and emitting strange sounds from it. His use of English, German, Spanish, Portuguese, French, Swedish, Hausa, and Japanese all improve with alcohol use. He gives invited public presentations on culture and unsolicited private advice on English grammar and usage; the latter isn't always appreciated. Visit his website for information on consulting, coaching, or speaking engagements.

New Riddle: Red and Invisible?

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Riddle:

Q: What's red and invisible?   A: No tomatoes.

What's So Funny?

Ripe tomatoes are red.  If you can't see them, they're invisible.  If you can't see them, how do you know that they're red?  

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Alan Headbloom

Alan advises Americans how to be global citizens and expats how to fit in to Michigan culture without annoying their native coworkers and clients. He also tweets and blogs at the intersection of language and culture. Over decades, he's traveled, studied, or lived on six continents, putting strange foods into his mouth and emitting strange sounds from it. His use of English, German, Spanish, Portuguese, French, Swedish, Hausa, and Japanese all improve with alcohol use. He gives invited public presentations on culture and unsolicited private advice on English grammar and usage; the latter isn't always appreciated. Visit his website for information on consulting, coaching, or speaking engagements.

Made-Up Quotes

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Our American church sign series celebrates the humor of locally installed messages. Churches often use their signs to announce events, but this one simply posted a joke.  The image below is repeated from the full television episode with Christine Lee.  Do you get what's so funny?

Background   

Many people accept information on the internet without thinking critically.  This leaves them susceptible to misinformation and outright lies.  Consumer groups warn that individuals should not not believe everything they read.

What's So Funny?    

This sign contains a message to dishonest bloggers to stop making up quotations.  However, it is "signed" by Mark Twain, an American writer who died long before computers were invented.

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Alan Headbloom

Alan advises Americans how to be global citizens and expats how to fit in to Michigan culture without annoying their native coworkers and clients. He also tweets and blogs at the intersection of language and culture. Over decades, he's traveled, studied, or lived on six continents, putting strange foods into his mouth and emitting strange sounds from it. His use of English, German, Spanish, Portuguese, French, Swedish, Hausa, and Japanese all improve with alcohol use. He gives invited public presentations on culture and unsolicited private advice on English grammar and usage; the latter isn't always appreciated. Visit his website for information on consulting, coaching, or speaking engagements.

Worry Kills

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Our American church sign series celebrates the humor--intentional and unintentional--of locally installed signage. Sometimes churches use this space to announce events, but this one tries to give a message of comfort.  The image is repeated below from the full television episode.  Do you get what's so funny?

 

Background   

Some people worry so much that it causes severe problems with their health. The first line in this notice acknowledges that.

What's So Funny?    

This sign contains an unintentional mix-up with words.  The sign-maker meant to say, "We can help with your worries." However, the way the sign reads, it sounds like it is saying, 
"We can help kill you."

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Alan Headbloom

Alan advises Americans how to be global citizens and expats how to fit in to Michigan culture without annoying their native coworkers and clients. He also tweets and blogs at the intersection of language and culture. Over decades, he's traveled, studied, or lived on six continents, putting strange foods into his mouth and emitting strange sounds from it. His use of English, German, Spanish, Portuguese, French, Swedish, Hausa, and Japanese all improve with alcohol use. He gives invited public presentations on culture and unsolicited private advice on English grammar and usage; the latter isn't always appreciated. Visit his website for information on consulting, coaching, or speaking engagements.

Knee Mail

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knee_mail.jpg

GTRI Show: Knee Mail

Continuing our American church sign series, we observe that American churches will use their outdoor signs to announce scheduled events, share upcoming sermon topics, or give advice.  As a public benefit, church employees often post clever messages and give passersby something to think about and chuckle over.  This week’s sign is repeated below from the full television episode.  Do you get what's so funny?

Background   

There is a Christian tradition of praying on one's knees as a way of humbling oneself to communicate with a higher power--either to express thankfulness or request help from life burdens. Over history in general, many people would lower themselves on their knees to show respect for authorities (like kings, queens, or other high-level leaders).

What's So Funny?    

The expression "knee mail" sounds like email.  The sign is encouraging people to talk to God in a traditional, non-electronic way.  Even Americans who aren't religious will appreciate the cleverness of this word play.

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Alan Headbloom

Alan advises Americans how to be global citizens and expats how to fit in to Michigan culture without annoying their native coworkers and clients. He also tweets and blogs at the intersection of language and culture. Over decades, he's traveled, studied, or lived on six continents, putting strange foods into his mouth and emitting strange sounds from it. His use of English, German, Spanish, Portuguese, French, Swedish, Hausa, and Japanese all improve with alcohol use. He gives invited public presentations on culture and unsolicited private advice on English grammar and usage; the latter isn't always appreciated. Visit his website for information on consulting, coaching, or speaking engagements.

Staying Flexible

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As we continue our American church sign series, we note that American churches often use their outdoor signs to announce scheduled events, share upcoming sermon topics, or give advice.  Happily for us, church employees often post clever messages and give passersby something to think about––or laugh at.  This week’s sign is repeated below from the full television episode.  Do you get what's so funny?

Background   

There is a list of famous blessings in the Bible called the Beatitudes.  (You can read all of them here.)  The basic format goes like this: Blessed are [the merciful] for they shall [be shown mercy].  (The old-fashioned use of “for” here means “because.”) The person who made up this church sign "blessing" created a new category: flexible people.

What's So Funny?    

This sign contains a play on the words.  Flexible people are able to bend with each situation.  The expression “get bent out of shape” means to become upset or angry.

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Alan Headbloom

Alan advises Americans how to be global citizens and expats how to fit in to Michigan culture without annoying their native coworkers and clients. He also tweets and blogs at the intersection of language and culture. Over decades, he's traveled, studied, or lived on six continents, putting strange foods into his mouth and emitting strange sounds from it. His use of English, German, Spanish, Portuguese, French, Swedish, Hausa, and Japanese all improve with alcohol use. He gives invited public presentations on culture and unsolicited private advice on English grammar and usage; the latter isn't always appreciated. Visit his website for information on consulting, coaching, or speaking engagements.

Pew in Church

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pew2cropped.png

In our American church sign series, we mentioned that U.S. churches often use their outdoor signs to announce scheduled events, share upcoming sermon topics, or give advice.  Happily for passersby, church employees often post clever messages and give us something to think about––or laugh at.  This week, our What's So Funny? segment continues the series.  Do you get what's so funny?

Background   

The rows of benches for sitting in church are called pews.

photo credit: Wikipedia.org

photo credit: Wikipedia.org

What's So Funny?    

The above church sign asks us if we have terrible (stinky) lives.  The church's response is an invitation to come to church and sit in the pews (and improve our lives).  The sign is funny because the informal expression, "Phew!" means something smells very bad.  When changing a child's messy diaper or when passing a dead skunk on the road, an American might say, "Phew, that stinks!"  (Another way to say "phew" is "P.U."  I have no idea what those two letters stand for.)

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Alan Headbloom

Alan advises Americans how to be global citizens and expats how to fit in to Michigan culture without annoying their native coworkers and clients. He also tweets and blogs at the intersection of language and culture. Over decades, he's traveled, studied, or lived on six continents, putting strange foods into his mouth and emitting strange sounds from it. His use of English, German, Spanish, Portuguese, French, Swedish, Hausa, and Japanese all improve with alcohol use. He gives invited public presentations on culture and unsolicited private advice on English grammar and usage; the latter isn't always appreciated. Visit his website for information on consulting, coaching, or speaking engagements.

Religious Nuts

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As we said earlier in this series, American churches often use their outdoor signs to announce scheduled events, share upcoming sermon topics, or give advice.  Happily for us, church employees often post clever messages and give passersby something to think about––or laugh at.  This week, our What's So Funny? segment returns to the series of clever American church signs.  Do you get what's so funny?

Background   

1. The expression "to bear fruit" means to give positive results (as farmers would find good harvest results after taking good care of their fruit trees).  There is this quotation in the Christian Bible: “I chose you and appointed you so that you might go and bear fruit—fruit that will last” (John 15:16).  

2. The expression "to be nutty" or "to be a nut" means to be crazy.  Some religious people are so serious about their religion that they lose track of their social relationships, and their family and friends think they are crazy.

What's So Funny?    

This sign contains two different food references: fruit and nuts are both delicious, healthy things to eat.  The person who posted this sign meant to say religion can give good results in a person's life (love, kindness, good relationships).  However, we shouldn't get too crazy about religion so that we make everyone around us angry or uncomfortable.

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Alan Headbloom

Alan advises Americans how to be global citizens and expats how to fit in to Michigan culture without annoying their native coworkers and clients. He also tweets and blogs at the intersection of language and culture. Over decades, he's traveled, studied, or lived on six continents, putting strange foods into his mouth and emitting strange sounds from it. His use of English, German, Spanish, Portuguese, French, Swedish, Hausa, and Japanese all improve with alcohol use. He gives invited public presentations on culture and unsolicited private advice on English grammar and usage; the latter isn't always appreciated. Visit his website for information on consulting, coaching, or speaking engagements.

Homework Excuse

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The teacher was collecting homework assignments and noticed Billy had not turned anything in. “Billy, where is your homework?”

Billy, a bad student but quick thinker, said, “Um, I lost it while fighting a kid who said you weren't the best teacher in the school.”

What's So Funny?

Billy didn't really do his homework, but he quickly thought up an excuse that involved flattering the teacher so she would be distracted from the task of checking everyone's homework.

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Alan Headbloom

Alan advises Americans how to be global citizens and expats how to fit in to Michigan culture without annoying their native coworkers and clients. He also tweets and blogs at the intersection of language and culture. Over decades, he's traveled, studied, or lived on six continents, putting strange foods into his mouth and emitting strange sounds from it. His use of English, German, Spanish, Portuguese, French, Swedish, Hausa, and Japanese all improve with alcohol use. He gives invited public presentations on culture and unsolicited private advice on English grammar and usage; the latter isn't always appreciated. Visit his website for information on consulting, coaching, or speaking engagements.

New Organist

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As we said earlier in this series, American churches often use their outdoor signs to announce scheduled events, share upcoming sermon topics, or give advice.  Happily for us, church employees often post clever messages and give passersby something to think about or laugh at.  This week, our What's So Funny? segment continues the series of clever American church signs.  Do you get what's so funny?

New_Organist.png

Background   Many traditional churches talk about the negative consequences of living a bad life on earth.  Chief among them is an afterlife spent in the fires of hell.  Such ministers are said to preach "hellfire and brimstone" to their parishioners.  

What's So Funny?    This person who posted this sign meant to convey two separate announcements: the pastor's upcoming sermon topic and the fact that there is a new church musician playing the organ.  However, since the first topic is a question, the second announcement looks like an answer to the question.  In other words, it will be like hell to listen to the (poor quality of the) new organist.

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Alan Headbloom

Alan advises Americans how to be global citizens and expats how to fit in to Michigan culture without annoying their native coworkers and clients. He also tweets and blogs at the intersection of language and culture. Over decades, he's traveled, studied, or lived on six continents, putting strange foods into his mouth and emitting strange sounds from it. His use of English, German, Spanish, Portuguese, French, Swedish, Hausa, and Japanese all improve with alcohol use. He gives invited public presentations on culture and unsolicited private advice on English grammar and usage; the latter isn't always appreciated. Visit his website for information on consulting, coaching, or speaking engagements.

Tithing vs. Honking

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As we said earlier in this series, American churches often use their outdoor signs to announce their schedules, share upcoming messages, and give advice.  Happily for us, church employees often post clever messages and give passersby something to think about or laugh at.  This week, our What's So Funny? segment continues the series of clever American church signs.  Do you get what's so funny? 

Background

To practice generosity, some Christians seek to donate 10% of their income to the church; one-tenth is called a tithe. A common type of U.S. bumper sticker asks fellow drivers to honk their horns in agreement with the printed messages, for example, Honk if you love the (Detroit) Tigers or Honk if you love peace and quiet.  Religious drivers may have the bumper sticker that says Honk if you love Jesus.

What's So Funny?  

This clever person wants people to make a larger commitment to their religious beliefs because honking the car horn is too easy.

Come back next week.  We will have even more funny church signage for you to learn from!

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Alan Headbloom

Alan advises Americans how to be global citizens and expats how to fit in to Michigan culture without annoying their native coworkers and clients. He also tweets and blogs at the intersection of language and culture. Over decades, he's traveled, studied, or lived on six continents, putting strange foods into his mouth and emitting strange sounds from it. His use of English, German, Spanish, Portuguese, French, Swedish, Hausa, and Japanese all improve with alcohol use. He gives invited public presentations on culture and unsolicited private advice on English grammar and usage; the latter isn't always appreciated. Visit his website for information on consulting, coaching, or speaking engagements.

Truth Decay

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As we mentioned earlier in this series, American churches often use their exterior signs to announce worship schedules, share upcoming sermon topics, and give general moral advice.  Happily for us, church employees often post clever messages with a sense of humor, giving passersby something to think about or chuckle about.  This week, our What's So Funny? segment continues a series of clever American church signs.  Do you get what's so funny?

Photo credit: www.says-it.com

Photo credit: www.says-it.com

Background

Many expressions in Christianity involve the theme of struggling or fighting against evil. Many hymns (church songs) involve a war-time metaphor, for example, “Onward, Christian Soldiers.”  Some of the evils that Christians may be fighting against are lies (or untruthful stories).

What's So Funny?  

When people tell lies, they consider that truth is becoming rotten.  The expression “truth decay” sounds like the dental warning about “tooth decay” (teeth becoming rotten).

Come back next week.  We will have more funny church signage for you to learn from!

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Alan Headbloom

Alan advises Americans how to be global citizens and expats how to fit in to Michigan culture without annoying their native coworkers and clients. He also tweets and blogs at the intersection of language and culture. Over decades, he's traveled, studied, or lived on six continents, putting strange foods into his mouth and emitting strange sounds from it. His use of English, German, Spanish, Portuguese, French, Swedish, Hausa, and Japanese all improve with alcohol use. He gives invited public presentations on culture and unsolicited private advice on English grammar and usage; the latter isn't always appreciated. Visit his website for information on consulting, coaching, or speaking engagements.

Throwing Mud

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As we mentioned earlier in this series, American churches often use their exterior signs to announce worship schedules, share upcoming sermon topics, and give general moral advice.  Happily for us, church employees often post clever messages with a sense of humor, giving passersby something to think about or chuckle about.  This week, our What's So Funny? segment continues a series of clever American church signs.  Do you get what's so funny?

Background

The expression "to throw mud" means to say bad things about someone.  The expression to "lose ground" means to go backwards, regress, or lose position.

What's So Funny?  

A second meaning of "ground" is soil or earth.  Mud is a kind of very wet earth. 

Stay tuned.  We have more funny church signs coming!

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Alan Headbloom

Alan advises Americans how to be global citizens and expats how to fit in to Michigan culture without annoying their native coworkers and clients. He also tweets and blogs at the intersection of language and culture. Over decades, he's traveled, studied, or lived on six continents, putting strange foods into his mouth and emitting strange sounds from it. His use of English, German, Spanish, Portuguese, French, Swedish, Hausa, and Japanese all improve with alcohol use. He gives invited public presentations on culture and unsolicited private advice on English grammar and usage; the latter isn't always appreciated. Visit his website for information on consulting, coaching, or speaking engagements.